I have now completed the Coursera.org Poetry workshop (https://www.coursera.org/learn/poetry-workshop?) Initially, I made an assumption that poetry is easy. But it is NOT! There is certain mechanics, spirit and flow that are required and while a poem can come out all at once the beauty and the skill is really in rewriting and editing the work. That is when magic happens and concepts of rhyme and rhythm come into place.
In one exercise, we were asked to write a poem that uses only one type of vowel. I chose a letter “o” and OMG! What a difficult assignment. All I could think of was doop, poop, goop, drool, fool. Think about it and try to write even one sentence where the only vowel you can use is an “o”
The last class was all about rewriting, I rewrote and edited The Apple of Hate. I kept the opening lines of each stanza because I liked the impact of those. I also kept the last two words of each stanza and gave them their own lines for flow.
Here is the resulting work which you can compare with the previous blog if you wish – they are very different poems.
The Apple of My Hate
You are the Apple of Hate
Despite the abstract, reality is near
The feelings, the emotions are full of fear.
Now, the days desire and years transpire
You are my Apple of Hate
Internal scream makes my head spin
Random actions drive me to sin
This makes me shiver in my sleep
You are our Apple of Hate
We cannot live in this condition
Our existence must have a higher, less sinister mission
Life is full of human chaos interleaved
I am hoping for a much darker feelings, I wish for the reader to be a little angry, a little mad, maybe even scared. I wonder if I have accomplished that?
much darker than the original!
True that, amazing how revisions work. Not sure where the darkness came from but it flew out naturally.